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1.04 - The Deer Hunters

MRS. KIM: What’s that? [points at Snickers]
RORY: Oh, that’s mine.
MRS. KIM: That is chocolate covered death.
RORY: With a creamy caramel surprise.


1.07 - Kiss And Tell

[Inside Doose's Market]

CASHIER: Oh, you girls having another movie night?
LORELAI: Yeah...It's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
CASHIER: Oh, that's nice. Isn't that the one with Gene Hackman?
DEAN: Uh, Gene Wilder.
LORELAI: You're a Wonka fan?
DEAN: Yeah.

[Later…]

RORY: Got it!
LORELAI: Score! You know, on the one hand I'm glad it was in but on the other hand what kind of world do we live in where no one has rented Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?
RORY: Well we rented it.

1.10 - Forgiveness and Stuff

[Taylor and carolers enter Luke's diner]

LUKE: Whoa, what’s going on?
TAYLOR: Well we were caroling around town and we got a bit chilly and we thought maybe we could trade you a song for some hot chocolate.
LUKE: You want free hot chocolate?
TAYLOR: No no, we’ll sing for it, any tune you like.
LUKE: And then I give you free hot chocolate.
TAYLOR: Yes.
LUKE: Tell you want, you can have your hot chocolate, and pay for it, then go next door and sing for the marshmallows.

1.12 - Double Date

SOOKIE: [giggling] It was so funny. Oh God! Do you remember?
LORELAI: I remember.
SOOKIE: What was Rory, eight?
LORELAI: I believe she was.
SOOKIE: Oh god, that mud pie fiasco haunted me for a year! I mean, hers looked just like mine. Of course I used you know, homemade chocolate cookies, bittersweet ganache and she used well, mud. You know, but they did look damn similar.

1.17 - The Breakup

LUKE: Yeah well, can I get you anything?
LORELAI: Oh, um, do you think you could make those really crazy chocolate chip pancakes and go ex-tra heavy on the chocolate?
LUKE: Yeah sure, any special occasion?
LORELAI: [sighs] Dean broke up with Rory.

1.21 - Love, Daisies, and Troubadours

[It's nighttime. Lorelai, Rory, and Max are walking down the street carrying small grocery bags.]

MAX: Okay, we've got food, drink, reading material, chocolate covered espresso beans. Have I left anything out?
RORY: I think that about covers it.
LORELAI: You're such a good provider.
MAX: I try my best.

2.11 - Secrets and Loans

RORY: We will make this up to you Sookie.
SOOKIE: What are you talking about? This is great. It'll be like a slumber party.
RORY: Are you sure?
SOOKIE: Absolutely. We can raid the fridge. We can make a nice avocado-mango face mask. Get out the tarot cards, tell fortunes, play Twister, make a Häagen-Dazs chocolate chocolate chip ice cream milkshake, and we'll watch Purple Rain...
LORELAI: Sookie, it's midnight.
SOOKIE: Okay, let's go straight for the milkshakes.

2.15 - Lost And Found

LUKE: I walked around in a blind rage. I was crazy. I bought one of those Belgian waffles with the ice cream dipped in chocolate.
LORELAI: You ate that?
LUKE: No, I didn’t eat it!
LORELAI: Of course not.
LUKE: I’m upset, not suicidal.
LORELAI: Right.

2.19 - Teach Me Tonight

LUKE: Uh, I made some brownies, I thought you might like some.
LORELAI: Oh, gee, since I just ate half a bag of marshmallows, six Pop Tarts, four bagel dogs and a really stale Cheese Nip – yup, it’s brownie time, thanks. Hey, here’s a question for you.
LUKE: Yeah?
LORELAI: Well, you probably have a diner full of people who would love these brownies – plus, I bet they’d pay you for ‘em.
LUKE: Well, I accidentally dropped triple the amount of cocoa powder in the batter so I either had to dump the batch or find someone with some sort of superhuman chocolate tolerance – only one name came to mind.
LORELAI: God, I love being special.

2.21 - Lorelai's Graduation Day

LORELAI: Aw, you made me a tassel hat cake!
SOOKIE: Filled with two pounds of crushed chocolate-covered espresso beans.
LORELAI: You're evil.
SOOKIE: And you're graduating.
LORELAI: Yes I am, aren't I?

2.22 - I Can't Get Started

[Lorelai walks up to Luke at the counter]

LORELAI: Oh, good donut selection this morning, really. Good variety, good color, good goodness, good . . . Well, so the choices are there. It all comes down to what I’m in the mood for. Sprinkled or chocolate or jelly or glazed, maple or kiwi or apple or, uh, raised. Little donut rhyme there. Never mind. Can I have a chocolate and a sprinkled please?

3.02 - Haunted Leg

LORELAI: And add some cake. Okay, let’s be organized – make it fast, make it snappy, and if there’s any impulse buying, make it chocolate.
RORY: Aye aye, captain.

3.03 - Application Anxiety

[Kirk walks up to the counter]

KIRK: Hey, Luke, can you whip me up something in a hurry?
LUKE: What, Kirk?
KIRK: A chocolate phosphate.
LUKE: Okay, now, what the hell is this? Why do you want a phosphate?
KIRK: Because nothing says refreshment like a phosphate.

3.09 - A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving

[Lorelai walks out of the diner with a bag. Rory is waiting with several bouquets of flowers]

LORELAI: Aw, pretty!
RORY: Yeah, good selection today. You get everything?
LORELAI: And then some. Look.
RORY: Chocolate turkeys, nice!
LORELAI: I think they’ll add a festive air.

~ ~ ~

MRS. KIM: Ah, the Gilmores. Happy Thanksgiving.
LORELAI: Happy Thanksgiving.
RORY: Happy Thanksgiving.
MRS. KIM: Come in.
LORELAI: She’s in a good mood this year.
RORY: Downright chipper.
LORELAI: So, um, Mrs. Kim, we, uh, we brought gifts.
RORY: Flowers.
LORELAI: And cranberry sauce, our little Thanksgiving tradition.
MRS. KIM: Thank you, can never have too much.
RORY: That’s what we say.
LORELAI: Plus, a chocolate turkey.
MRS. KIM: What should I do with this?
LORELAI: Oh, I don’t know, let the kids share it.
MRS. KIM: And then send a blank check to their dentist?
LORELAI: They don’t have to eat it, they can play with it.
MRS. KIM: Play with chocolate? It’s missing its head.
LORELAI: Ooh, that one’s ours. Here, this one has a head. There ya go.

3.10 - That'll Do, Pig

CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN KITCHEN

SOOKIE: Twelve courses, each paired with a specific wine, and for dessert, individual chocolate amaretto mousse cakes in the shape of a G.
LORELAI: Sookie, look what you’ve done.
SOOKIE: Over the top?
LORELAI: On a monumental scale.

3.13 - Dear Emily and Richard

[Lorelai and Rory are looking through guidebooks]

RORY: Hey, I want to sleep amongst thirteenth century tapestries and chocolates made by local artisans.
LORELAI: Okay, then, it’s settled. We’re not staying at any place that wasn’t built for Napoleon the third’s doctor or doesn’t have a Chagall in the bathroom.
RORY: Hear, hear.

3.18 - Happy Birthday, Baby

[Rory is at the counter at Weston’s Bakery placing an order]

FRAN: So, that’s a four foot chocolate cake with individual vanilla cupcakes on top spelling out “Happy 16th Birthday Lorelai”?
RORY: That’s right.
FRAN: Would you like butter cream or whipped cream frosting on that?
RORY: Can you do both?
FRAN: That’s a lot of frosting.
RORY: I know, but it’s my mom’s favorite part. Once we tried to make a cake entirely out of frosting, which turned out to be better in theory than in actual execution.

4.04 - Chicken or Beef?

TAYLOR: Well, hello there. Lorelai, Rory, what can I get for you?
LORELAI: Oh, well, gosh, look at all the choices, really hard to pick. I think I'll try a scoop of butter brickle crunch. Rory?
RORY: I'll try the chocolate chocolate chocolate.
TAYLOR: Coming right up.

(A bit later…)

RORY: Oh, my God, this is incredible. It's called chocolate chocolate chocolate, but it's seriously chocolate chocolate chocolaty.

4.05 - The Fundamental Things Apply

MICHEL: Well, good. I love doing research just for the sake of doing research. I live to grow. Are you still buying me lunch?
LORELAI: I'd be happy to buy you lunch, but I should probably take you somewhere else.
LUKE: Why should you take him somewhere else?
LORELAI: Because, Kook Danes, Michel eats a very specific diet.
MICHEL: Normally, yes, that's true. However, every six months I give myself a crazy day where I can eat anything I want, and today's crazy day. Talk to me about your chocolate cake.
LUKE: What do you want to know?
MICHEL: Is it Mexican?
LUKE: Is what Mexican?
MICHEL: The chocolate.
LUKE: How would I know?
MICHEL: It would say so on the wrapper. You could go look. I'll wait.
LUKE: Take him somewhere else.
MICHEL: Oh, just bring me a doughnut, but put some sprinkles on it, okay?

4.10 - The Nanny and the Professor

[Lorelai and Rory and eating dinner at Richard and Emily's house]

RORY: Is there dessert?
EMILY: Yes, and we have a special surprise for you for dessert. We brought it back from Switzerland.
LORELAI: We're getting a mountain goat?
RICHARD: This is better than a goat.
EMILY: Let's go into the living room.
RORY: Dessert from Switzerland.
LORELAI: The land of chocolate.
RORY: Yum!
RICHARD: You two are going to love this.
LORELAI: Is it as good as Toblerone?
RICHARD: Oh, it's better than Toblerone.

[They walk to the living room. The maid sets the dessert tray on the coffee table]

LORELAI: Whoa, what is that?
EMILY: It's marzipan.
RORY: Marzipan?
RICHARD: The finest marzipan in all of Europe. Made by cloistered nuns.
EMILY: We toured their cloister, it was right out of "The Sound of Music."
LORELAI: What happened to the chocolate?
EMILY: What chocolate?
LORELAI: You compared it to Toblerone - that's chocolate.
RICHARD: You brought up Toblerone. I just said it was better than that because I think it is.
EMILY: Marzipan is candy. You like candy.
LORELAI: Marzipan is not candy. It is a unique substance unto itself, like Velveeta or plutonium.

4.12 - A Family Matter

[Rory and Lorelai exit Taylor's Soda Shoppe and walk together]

RORY: Please do not say that word again.
LORELAI: It's a free country.
RORY: Just say hot chocolate or say nothing at all.
LORELAI: Mmm, terrific "Ho-Cho".
RORY: Oooh, I hate that. It's so cutsey-wootsey.
LORELAI: Do you hate it as much as my favorite summer treat?
RORY: Don't!
LORELAI: An ice-cold Fro-Yo!

4.22 - Raincoats and Recipes

[Kirk worries about Lulu dealing with his ‘night terrors’]

KIRK: How is she going to take it? I mean, I could scare her or ninja-kick her and lock her up with a pillow. I think I love her, Luke, and I haven't even told her that I love her. I spelled it out in chocolate-covered Oreos once, but she was really hungry, and I'm not sure if she read it first. I can't assault her before I tell her I love her.

5.09 - Emily Says Hello

[Sookie, Jackson and Lorelai deal with Sookie’s pregnancy-cravings]

SOOKIE: Milk chocolate and artichoke hearts!
LORELAI: What?
SOOKIE: That's what I want and I am not going to change my mind. Milk chocolate - bell peppers! Now I'm not going to change my mind. Jackson, I figured it out! No, dark chocolate. Ooh, taffy! Taffy and walnuts! Taffy, ooh, pistachios! Ooh, hearts of palm!

5.14 - Say Something

[Outside Doose's Market sitting in a limo]

RORY: Did you get everything?
LANE: Everything on the list. Plus, I threw in a few things of my own. Some Toll House cookie dough. Cooked or uncooked, the ultimate comfort food.
RORY: Nice.
LANE: Chocolate covered matzah.
RORY: Nice and ethnic.

5.16 - So...Good Talk

[Emily enters the diner. She stands by the door.]

EMILY: Hello, Luke.
EMILY: When you get a moment, I’d like to have a word with you.
LUKE: I’m busy right now.
EMILY: That’s fine. I’ll just wait here until things die down. [She pulls up a stool at the counter. Luke ignores her and makes some coffee. She opens the menu.] You have a wide selection here. What is mud pie?
KIRK: Oh, that’s awesome. It’s chocolate pie with Oreo cookie crust, and sometimes you can get Luke to put gummy worms in it, like worms in the mud, so, you can imagine.
EMILY: [disgusted] Well, you’ve painted a wonderful picture. [To Luke] Your coffeemaker seems to be full now.
LUKE [slamming the filter into the machine] Coffee, Kirk?
KIRK: Oh, no. I can’t drink coffee. It makes my lungs hurt. [Luke pours him a cup.] Thanks.

5.20 - How Many Kropogs to Cape Cod?

LOGAN: Emily, these are for you. A small token of my gratitude.
EMILY: Vunderschen chocolates, I absolutely adore these!
LOGAN: I picked them up last time I was in Switzerland.
EMILY: Well, aren’t you clever.

5.21 - Blame Booze and Melville

[Lorelai, Rory and Emily are eating chocolate fondue.]

EMILY: This feels so decadent. Isn't this decadent?
RORY: Very decadent.
LORELAI: Are there more marshmallows?
EMILY: All you two have been dipping is the marshmallows! You haven't touched the kiwi, or the pineapple, or the tangelo slices.
RORY: But it's fruit.
EMILY: Fruit is good for you.
RORY: We're fondue purists, Grandma.
LORELAI: Yeah, we dip old school.
EMILY: The government says you should have nine servings of fruit and vegetables per day.
LORELAI: Imperialist propaganda.

5.22 - A House Is Not A Home

[The fifth annual Connecticut Bike Race is underway in town. Rory is waiting for Lorelai at a table in Weston’s Bakery, as Lorelai walks up.]

LORELAI: Hey, do you think today is the day we’re finally going to go through all twelve layers of the twelve-layer German chocolate cake? The bikers have demonstrated the importance of challenging oneself.

6.01 - New and Improved Lorelai

PARIS: [looking through Rory's clothes] I'm meeting more of Doyle's family tonight. I've been meeting people for months. He's got, like, five hundred cousins. And you know what? He's the tallest one in the family.
RORY: Really?
PARIS: Yep. Family get-together is like a Lollipop Guild Convention. I have to stop myself from asking how it's going at the chocolate factory.
RORY: Good, good. Get it all out now.

~ ~ ~

FINN: All right, time to make the rounds. See which one of these lovely females is soused enough to find my arrogance charming.
RORY: Finn, have you ever thought about just wooing a woman? Flowers, chocolates, a little slow jam in the background?
FINN: Slow jams are for the subtle, Rory. "One too many" has a delightful immediacy.

6.03 - The UnGraduate

[Sookie is holding up two huge cookie sheets, hiding something from Lorelai.]

SOOKIE: Okay, here we go! [She presents the cookie sheets with a flourish.]
LORELAI: Oh, what is that? And where can I get one?
SOOKIE: That is my dark chocolate s'mores wedding cake.
LORELAI: You've been reading my diary.
SOOKIE: I got the idea from a dream. I was back in cooking school, and late for my final, and I run over to an oven and sitting there is the s'mores wedding cake. And I presented it to my teacher, he starts weeping, and the whole class is applauding and cheering.
LORELAI: That's so nice!

~ ~ ~

[Luke runs up to the Veterinarian’s house carrying a sick Paul Anka,]

DOCTOR: Can I help you?

LUKE: The dog ate chocolate. And I don't know a lot about dogs, but I do know they shouldn't eat chocolate. I went to the animal hospital and they were closed and I called Babette and she told me where you lived, and you gotta do something! Because this is not my dog, this is my fiancée’s dog. She loves him. She named him Paul Anka, which may, on the surface, not seem like a sign of love but if you knew her you'd get it, and believe me, there's a lot of ways I could screw up this relationship, but I cannot lose her over the fact that I killed her dog.

DOCTOR: I'll get the ipecac. Come on in.

~ ~ ~

LORELAI: How did it go with Paul Anka last night?

LUKE: Well, first off, he ate three pounds of unsweetened baking chocolate, so I had to rush him to the vet. [Lorelai looks worried.] To his house, because the animal hospital was closed. And he forced some sort of vomit-inducing medicine down Paul Anka's throat, and then Paul Anka proceeded to throw up for the next hour and a half. After that, I sat with him for another three hours, holding a bowl of water under his nose making sure he was re-hydrating properly. [Lorelai looks at him adoringly.] And then I chocolate-proofed the apartment and the diner, make sure that never happens again, and now I'm going to go downstairs and make Paul Anka some scrambled eggs, because the vet said that the kibble's going to be a little hard on his stomach for a couple days. Does he have any particular fear of cheddar? 'Cause I thought I'd throw that in to make it taste better.

6.07 - Twenty-One Is the Loneliest Number

RORY: And the chocolate praline crunch is the cake.
EMILY: A chocolate praline crunch cake. [She looks up with a dreamy look in her eye.] A chocolate praline crunch cake completely covered with pearls. Ah, to be twenty-one again.

~ ~ ~

EMILY: Maybe she's still coming.
RORY: But how do we know? If she doesn't call, how will we know whether or not to make an extra chocolate box? Huh? If she doesn't call, she won't have a chocolate box.
EMILY: We can make an extra chocolate box, Rory.
RORY: No! Why should we make an extra chocolate box? I mean, we're paying for these things. Chocolate boxes do not just grow on trees. They are made. They are made by these hardworking people right here. And it is not right making these people spend hours making extra chocolate boxes because people are too lazy to make a stupid phone call! [She storms off.]
EMILY: [stunned] Rory!

~ ~ ~

LUKE'S DINER

[Lorelai is spraying whipped cream on her pancakes.]

LUKE: You're going to be sick.
LORELAI: No.
LUKE: It's already loaded with chocolate chips. That's candy. And you're adding whipped cream. That's more candy.
LORELAI: Got any jelly beans?
LUKE: I'm going to be sick.

~ ~ ~

LUKE: She wants to know if you're coming to her birthday party.
LORELAI: What?
RORY: We're making the chocolate boxes right now, and I need to know if she's coming so I know whether or not to make her one!
LUKE: They're making the chocolate boxes right now, and she needs to know if you're coming so they can make you one.
LORELAI: I didn't know I was invited!
RORY: I sent her an invitation! Where the hell'd she think it came from, the invitation fairy?
LUKE: She said she sent you an invitation.
LORELAI: I didn't know it was from her. [Yelling at the phone] I didn't know it was from you!
RORY: Well, it was! Is she coming or not?
LUKE: Are you coming or not?
LORELAI: Yes! I'm coming! I want a chocolate box!
LUKE: She'll be there.
RORY: Fine! Bye.

~ ~ ~

EMILY: Lorelai! You came! You're here! There's a chocolate box for you in the hallway.
LORELAI: Thank you, mom.
EMILY: Hello, Luke. I didn't know you were coming. I don't have a chocolate box for you. You'll have to share with Lorelai.
LORELAI: Fat chance. Mom has really good chocolate.

~ ~ ~

RORY: Did you get your chocolate box? They're by the door.
LORELAI: No, I didn't. I'll get one on the way out.
RORY: They're good. I ate two.
LORELAI: It's a really pretty party. I actually like all the votives and - [Logan and Lane lead a group of people over to Rory. They sing 'Happy Birthday' and take her by the elbows over to the cake. Rory smiles back at Lorelai. The song ends and the crowd cheers and applauds. Lorelai stands back, near tears. Luke comes up beside her.]


 

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