Coffee Quotes – Season Four
Collected by Ken Holuta and Liesbeth (from Belgium 😉 , Edited by Ken and Lori Holuta.
4.01: Ballrooms and Biscotti
LORELAI: Bonjour, Luke. Pouvez-vous attacher vos chaussures?
LORELAI: Uh, hi, Luke. Do you know how to tie your shoes?
LUKE: Very good.
LORELAI: Yup. It came in handy, let me tell you. Not one shoelace fatality on my watch. [he sets a mug in front of her] You remembered.
LUKE: Yup. A couple things about you stick.
LORELAI: So then we jumped on a train and we headed to Ireland – incredibly beautiful, by the way – and we sat in a bar for two days and did nothing but eat soda crackers and funky cheese and he never showed.
LUKE: Que sera.
LORELAI: Hm. [sips her coffee] Mm, still good. I told ’em about you over there, Señor Swanky-pants.
LUKE: Can’t tell you how grateful I am to have you as my press agent.
4.02: The Lorelais’ First Day to Yale
RORY: Does Luke know that you can’t drive a stick?
RORY: Because you borrowed his truck and it’s a stick.
LORELAI: I can drive a stick.
RORY: You can stir coffee with a stick, but you can’t drive a stick.
LORELAI: Okay, I am glad I did not choose to record that particular moment in my daughter’s life ’cause that was just ugly.
LORELAI: Did I tell you I found good coffee?
RORY: No, where?
LORELAI: The little kiosk by the library. I found it on the way to that parents thing.
LORELAI: I’ll circle it on the map for you.
[There’s a knock on Rory’s suite door. She answers it; two girls are there]
GIRL 1: You’re up?
RORY: I was up. Come on in.
GIRL 1: We Lorelai’d a few places and found the good coffee.
GIRL 2: Checked places out.
GIRL 1: Seems like the appropriate word. We found decent muffins, too, but I bet there’s better out there.
RORY: You’ll Lorelai ’em another time.
GIRL 1: [hands her a coffee] So this is thanks for last night. It was a perfect first night at Yale.
RORY: I thought so.
GIRL 2: We’re gonna go to freshman assembly together. Do you wanna come?
GIRL 1: Then we’re all going to conveniently lose our student ID’s and go take new pictures.
RORY: Oh my God, I’m so with you on that one.
GIRL 1: Cool.
RORY: [sips coffee] Mm. Whoa, this is really good. Kiosk by the library?
GIRL 1: Oh, you found it first.
RORY: Kind of.
4.03: The Hobbit, the Sofa and Digger Stiles
LORELAI: You subscribed to the Stars Hollow Gazette? The editor of the Stars Hollow Gazette does not subscribe to the Stars Hollow Gazette.
RORY: I didn’t want to get cut off from the town.
LORELAI: That’s very sweet of you. Hey, you wanna grab some coffee before I head back?
4.04: Chicken or Beef?
LORELAI: And what are your plans today, Persis Khambata?
RORY: Well, today, I’m going to do nothing but hang out in town, read, veg, drink coffee, and have the perfect Stars Hollow day.
[A group of boys enter Luke’s diner. They’re having Dean’s bachelor party and are drunk.]
BOY 1: Hey, we should get strippers, right?
DEAN: And cake.
BOY 2: Hey, my name’s Luke, too. We should start a club or something.
LUKE: Yeah, that would be swell. Look, guys, why don’t you go sit down over there? I’ll make some coffee.
LORELAI: It’s dirty, that’s what business is. It’s smoke-filled back rooms with exposed pipes and shady players chewing on fat cigars and twirling their dirty mustaches. And when you go into those rooms, you can’t be a milquetoast muppet. You have to have pointy teeth and jaws that snap. The meek shall not inherit the earth!
LUKE: Thanks for the perspective.
LORELAI: Do you have any coffee?
LUKE: I’m not giving you coffee.
LORELAI: I don’t have time for coffee. I gotta go find Taylor and close this deal.
4.05: The Fundamental Things Apply
[The doorbell rings. The maid answers the door and lets Lorelai in. She tries to take her purse and coat but almost drops her coffee cup.]
LORELAI: Oh, hey. Uh, oh, oh, hold on, whoa. Wow, that could have been very ugly, huh? The great cappuccino disaster of 2003. Very sad — Shelley Winters drowns. Think the coffee was stronger than I thought.
[Rory is talking to a guy in the laundry room at Yale.]
RORY: Well, being away like this makes you think about stuff like that, doesn’t it – home?
RORY: Hey, would you maybe wanna get a cup of coffee sometime, in between classes or something?
GUY: I don’t think so, but thanks. [leaves]
RORY: You’re welcome…
4.09: Ted Koppel’s Big Night Out
[In the newsroom.]
RORY: Do you want me to come back?
DOYLE: No, let’s look at it now.
RORY: So I drank a lot of coffee before writing this, so hopefully it won’t be a yawn.
DOYLE: Good. [reads Rory’s article and crosses things out]
LORELAI: So, what’s new?
LUKE: Uh, got some new coffee pots.
LORELAI: Anything else?
LUKE: New filters.
LORELAI: Anything else?
[Luke and Lorelai are arguing.]
LUKE: But you still haven’t eaten.
LORELAI: I’m not hungry, again.
LUKE: Fine, see ya.
LORELAI: And I liked the old coffee pots. The new ones look stupid.
LORELAI: I got into an argument with Luke about Nicole.
LORELAI: They’re back together. I didn’t know that. I walk into Luke’s and there she is.
RORY: And he hadn’t told you?
LORELAI: No, and I was the very picture of awkwardness, and basically, I just fled. And when I saw Luke later, we got into a fight about it, and I told him his coffee pots were stupid.
RORY: So it was very sophisticated.
LUKE: Hey. Coffee’s gonna be ready in a sec. You know what you want?
LORELAI: Oh, um, well, we need napkins to cover this big, wide, expansive table.
LUKE: Okay. Uh, hey, are you in the mood for pancakes?
LORELAI: Pancakes, sure, yeah. I guess we have enough space for pancakes.
LUKE: ‘Cause I’m making pumpkin pancakes and it comes with homemade cinnamon butter.
RORY: You made cinnamon butter?
LUKE: This morning.
LORELAI: Wow. I bet the other people who would love a table right now but can’t have one ’cause they’re all taken would love pumpkin pancakes with homemade cinnamon butter.
LUKE: I’ll get your coffee.
LORELAI: I think I forgot to put on underwear. Can you check? [pause] Did I just ask you to check if I put on underwear?
LORELAI: I hate football.
RORY: You just need coffee.
4.10: The Nanny and the Professor
[In Jasons appartment.]
LORELAI: I watched “The Daily Show,” fell into the best sleep I ever had, woke up, watched “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” and had a vanilla-scented jacuzzi bath.
JASON: Ah, so that’s what the look on your face is. I thought it was from sex with me.
LORELAI: No, it’s from the jacuzzi bath. Good morning.
JASON: Good morning. Uh, coffee’s over here.
LORELAI: Thank you. Mm, the coffee smells good. Hey, can we, uh, not sleep together again tonight?
4.11: In the Clamor and the Clangor
RORY: I have to go drop something off at Lane’s.
LORELAI: Good, ’cause I have to go drop something off at Luke’s. [Begins to cross the street]
LORELAI: [Turns around.] I’m just dropping off some stuff, and a few things and –
LORELAI: I need coffee.
RORY: I’ll meet you there.
LORELAI: Hurry, we can come back out for the bells in half an hour.
RORY: Order me some coffee, a muffin and some onion rings.
LORELAI: Look what I pass on to the next generation.
RORY: Eating habits from Hades.
LORELAI: [Calling after her] Love that DNA!
[Lorelai walks into Luke’s and sits at a stool.]
LORELAI: Coffee, big cup and hello!
LORELAI: Maybe I am insane, I mean what’s the big deal right? Just because I go in there for coffee every day that doesn’t make us friends.
SOOKIE: You are friends!
LORELAI: Yes, but I thought we were ‘friend’ friends, and apparently we’re just coffee friends. I buy the coffee and he’s my friend. It’s like a dog and a liver treat. If you have a liver treat, the dog will like you and, that’s us.
SOOKIE: Which one are you, the dog or the liver treat?
LORELAI: Well, I was the liver treat, and I thought I was a collar or at least a really cute leash and I’m not.
[Rory and Lane walk outside in the snow with cups of coffee.]
LANE: Let’s not stray too far from the coffee cart. I can barely feel my feet this morning.
RORY: The floor wasn’t too comfortable, huh?
LANE: No, it was fine until Paris came home and stepped on my face. The stepping on my face wasn’t too comfortable.
RORY: Well, at least Paris doesn’t tend to wear heels.
4.12: A Family Matter
RORY: Well, Lane’s getting along pretty well here. She kind of fallen into a – rhythm. [Lane rushes into the bedroom with travel tray of coffee] Hey.
LANE: Hey, Take. [she offers coffee tray to Rory]
RORY: Thanks you. Hey, you’re out of breath.
LANE: There were incredibly slow people in the coffee line, and I promised to wake Paris. [hurries over to Paris’ bed] Up and at ’em!
LANE: I got you a triple espresso that I’m going to put here right out of reach, so sleepyhead has to get up to get it.
PARIS: Die twice.
[Lorelai and Jason are planning their day together.]
LORELAI: Then we can come back, hit a few places here and then grab some lunch.
JASON: Do we have time for coffee now? I haven’t had any for hours.
LORELAI: For hours? When did you get up?
LORELAI: Wow, they have one of those in the morning too?
JASON: You know how Asia is not taking the morning off? Neither is Europe.
LORELAI: Well, coffee, it is then.
JASON: How about you taking me to that place you’re always talking about. What is it, um – Duke’s.
JASON: Yeah, I’m not in the mood for coffee anymore.
LORELAI: [gasps at the obvious lie] You were jonesing not 5 minutes ago.
JASON: No, it’s passed. My 5 a.m. coffee just kicked in again.
LORELAI: You drink time-released coffee?
JASON: [shrugs] It’s all the rage.
LORELAI: Okay. Well, I want coffee. [pulls off safety belt and prepares to get out]
JASON: Okay, I’ll wait for you here.
[Liz and Luke are in Luke’s appartement, talking.]
LIZ: [indicates the table] I made us some coffee.
LUKE: I don’t drink coffee.
LIZ: [urges him to sit] Well, sit down and watch me drink it then. Come on, just for a minute.
[The Girls arive at Richard and Emily’s house for Friday night-dinner.]
EMILY: Ah, my girls are arriving together.
LORELAI: Hi, Mom.
RORY: Hi, Grandma.
EMILY: You smell like coffee. [assists the maid with their coats]
RORY: We haven’t had any.
EMILY: It’s so strong.
LORELAI: Okay, Mom. I really don’t like you sniffing me.
4.14: The Incredible Shrinking Lorelais
LORELAI: But every now and then, just for a moment, I wish I had a partner, someone to pick up the slack. Someone to wait for the cable guy, make me coffee in the morning, meet the stupid sink before it gets sent back to Canada.
4.15: Scene in a Mall
KIRK: My girlfriend’s gone out of town with some friends, and I’m watching Buster for her. And they’re girlfriends, not guys. I called the hotel she booked and verified that it’s a girl’s name on the register with her. Not that I don’t trust her.
KIRK: Over there okay?
LUKE: Sure. Carol, Danny, Jamie, Sean, Chris?
KIRK: What’s that?
LUKE: Just a list of guys’ names that could be girls. You want coffee?
[Rory and Lorelai are sitting in Luke’s diner. Lorelai just poured her own coffee.]
LUKE: You pour your own coffee?
LORELAI: Oh, err, yeah.
LUKE: You’re not supposed to do that.
LORELAI: Oh yeah [sheepish] sorry, I won’t do it again. [takes a gulp]
4.16: The Reigning Lorelai
[Emily is planning the burial service of Richard’s mother.]
EMILY: Wonderful. Yet another thing I have to take care of.
LORELAI: Mom, why don’t you let me help out a little?
EMILY: That’s all right.
LORELAI: I’m happy to do it. I’ll bring coffee, a Danish. You’ve never had so much fun with death in your life.
[Doyle is talking to Rory about his grandmother who died.]
DOYLE: She smelled a little like coffee. I still can’t walk past any place that makes coffee.
DOYLE: The girl I was dating was a barista. I had to break up with her.
4.17: Girls in Bikinis, Boys Doing the Twist
LORELAI: Hey, Luke.
LUKE: I saw you come in. I was gonna get to you, okay?
LUKE: If you don’t like the service, you can go somewhere else.
LORELAI: Who could not like the service?
LUKE: I’m busy. You ready to order?
LORELAI: Coffee for now. Is everything okay?
LUKE: You’re not gonna eat?
LORELAI: No, I just came in for coffee and to show you something.
4.18: Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!
[Kirk stumbles in looking dazed. He hasn’t slept for one and a half days.]
KIRK: That’s me.
LUKE: You want something?
LUKE: Well, you usually get something here. You’re in the diner.
KIRK: Oh, yes.
KIRK: That’s me.
LUKE: You want some coffee?
KIRK: Yes, please.
LUKE: Your eyes are spinning in different directions.
[Lorelai enters Luke’s, approaches and sits at the counter where Luke is prying at a toaster.]
LORELAI: Oh man. Beat up the toaster again?
LUKE: This damn thing stopped working.
LORELAI: Could get another one.
LUKE: This one will be fine.
LORELAI: Sure — as soon as it learns its place. You gonna go ten rounds with the coffee maker, or – [Luke is already pouring her a cup of coffee.] Ooh, thank you.
[Jason is telling Lorelai that Richard fired him and is going back into business with his father.]
LORELAI: How could he do this? How could my father just take the business from you?
JASON: Oh, no, no, no. He left me the business, but without the clients, the business consists of some stationery, a coffee maker, and some rubber pencil grips.
4.20: Luke Can See her Face
[Luke’s Diner. Luke is taking chairs off the tables when he sees Lorelai sitting outside the diner waiting for him to open.]
LUKE: What are you doing?
LORELAI: I need coffee.
LUKE: It’s 5:00 in the morning. Make coffee at your own house.
LORELAI: I did. I drank it all.
LUKE: You drank all the coffee in your house before five in the morning?
LORELAI: Big gulps, lots of sugar.
LUKE: Alright, get up. [Pulls her up and takes her inside.]
LORELAI: And just a little bit of cream ’cause it makes it cold.
LUKE: Keep moving.
LORELAI: [ Sighs ] I can’t sleep. I can’t turn my mind off. It keeps running and thinking and making lists.
LUKE: Maybe if you drank a little less coffee, you’d make a little less lists.
LORELAI: Oh, I can’t stop drinking the coffee. If I stop drinking coffee, I stop doing the standing and the walking and the words putting-into-sentence doing.
LUKE: I’ll make you some coffee.
4.22: Raincoats and Recipes
[Inside Luke’s diner.]
LORELAI: Luke is coming over here. I want you to pay very close attention.
RORY: To what?
LORELAI: Oh, sure, coffee would be great. Coffee, hon? Yeah, she’ll have coffee.